Once Upon a Time, Kindness Had a Seat at the Table

Maybe I am just getting old. Maybe I just have old school morals and values. Or maybe I just don't understand being mean spirited for the sake of being mean spirited.

When I was growing up, my mother said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." It made sense. I didn't question it. I may have thought something "not so nice" in my head, but if it was going to make somebody else feel bad, then I wasn't supposed to say it out loud. Period.

Now . . . as kids, sometimes we messed up. And when we messed up, we were taught to apologize--and mean it! If children got into trouble at school, most of them got into worse trouble when they got home. Children were a reflection of their parents, and it mattered.

I worked as a teacher and behavior interventionist in the public elementary school for over 16 years. I witnessed many changes over that period of time. Some, not so great.

Now I have worked as a non-profit founder and lay minister, providing lay counseling to women and children for about 14 years. People are hurting. Parents are hurting. Children are hurting. Families are fractured. Mine included.

Trauma is lived and relived on a regular basis. Our bodies store this trauma and it affects generations.

Hurting people hurt others, and people who have found healing, help to heal others. Unfortunately, the majority of people are hurting.

Kindness is described in the dictionary as the quality of being friendly, generous, helpful, and considerate toward others without expecting a reward. It is an active choice to do good. Helping, sharing, active listening, choosing patience, having empathy and understanding, and offering grace are all wonderful examples of kindness.

Not only does extending kindness help others, but it actually can boost your own happiness and improve your overall well-being.

The next time you have the opportunity to repay mean spiritedness with mean spiritedness, think again.

Invite kindness to the table. Pull out a chair for it. Extend the invitation in your home, your place of employment, and your community. Lead by example.

The world is hurting. We need healing.

Kindness heals.